The perks of being over 60.

Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

No one expects you to run into a burning building.

People call at 21:00 and ask, “Did I wake you?”

People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

Things you buy now won’t wear out.

You can eat dinner at 16:00.

You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations.

You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

You have a party and the neighbours don’t even realize it.

You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

You sing along with lift (elevator) music.

Your eyes won’t get much worse.

Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the weather forcasts.

Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

15 thoughts on “The perks of being over 60.

  1. OK, I have a huge question! WHY the HECK was this not FRESHLY PRESSED! This is the best post I have read in months! I was howling! I am so forwarding this to all the baby boomers in my life! Still laughing!

  2. Wow this was funny — how did you come up with all this stuff? It’s great! You should submit it to an AARP (do they that out there?) magazine! (AARP is American Association for Retired Persons, or something like that.) Thanks for the laugh!

  3. Ha, ha! Brilliant! … here’s another for your list… you get to keep you nipples warm by wearing those high waisted trousers/pants – can’t wait!

      • Oh its coming to you Jamie. We are male too… that’s what old geezers do. They have high waist bands covering their moobs. Every Grandad in the UK has a waistband higher than Simon Cowells.

  4. another thing jimmy that in old age u can look forward to is not having to get up to brush your teeth…. just take em out and stick them in water 😛

    oh and you can burp, fart and pee yourself and no one will mind, its expected! 😛

  5. Pingback: The perks of being over 60. (via One Life) « The D[e]rty Thirty

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