How do you measure up?

Discovered in Antwerp in Belgium.

I was just minding my own business and taking a little visit to the toilet when I walked in and saw this.

Okay – it made me laugh – out loud. It was quite tricky to concentrate while standing there.

Which one to stand at?

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Shock at Wimbledon 2012

The Wimbledon Championships are a sporting highlight of the year. Each year I tune in hopeful to see Andy Murray, the British number 1 make it to the final. This year, though I was more surprised by a match that I watched featuring Rafael Nadal and Lukáš Rosol.

Who is Lukáš Rosol

Exactly what I was thinking before I saw his amazing match on Thursday evening.

Rosol, from the Czech Republic blew Nadal out of the water with his thrilling tennis skills and ultimate composure. Nadal didn’t know what was happening. I don’t think I have seen a ‘newcomer’ play with such conviction in a long time (if ever). Rosol started a little nervous – and not surprising when playing one of the tennis greats. But, the first set went to a tie-break, and a close one too… Nadal won it, but was to be shocked when Rosol went on to take the 2nd and 3rd sets.

Shock!

Nadal fought back in the fourth and won it relatively easily. It was going to go to go the distance. A fifth set loomed. Surely, Nadal had it in the bag…

Rosol broke Nadal and kept up the big hits. Ace after ace and such precision! I was in awe! I couldn’t believe how accurate and how well he played. Lukáš Rosol had the look of a winner in his eyes. You could how much he really wanted the win.

Nadal out.

Rosol had done the unthinkable – and won!

Who would have predicted that the World number 100 could knock out Nadal? Not me. But I am pleased. I like the underdog to do well – but I also like Nadal out of the way – as Murray would have faced him in the semi-finals.

Image from Clive Rose/Getty Images

Here’s Rosol after his historical victory.

Below is the score line.

Via Wikipedia

What will happen next?

How far will Rosol get in the championships?

Will he go head-to-head with Murray?

The Comeback Kid

My jaw almost kit the ground today when one of the children in my class took everyone by surprise.

To remind you – I teach – I teach 3 and 4 year olds, and that pretty much guarantees that there will be shocks and surprises – on an almost weekly basis.

Today a little angel of mine was feeling sick (Eng. = poorly; Aus. = crank).

I’m so international.

The mum (of sick child) arrived and came into the classroom. I explained how her daughter had not been feeling 100% and that with her soaring temperature, it was best to have a nice restful afternoon at home. Being a teacher who encourages the children in my class to express themselves and be confident individuals I was not surprised when another of my little treasures started chatting to the mum.

She asked the mum why her little friend was going home – to which the mum replied, “Well she’s not feeling very well, so I am going to take her home”.

This clearly wasn’t enough info – more please – “Why isn’t she well?” (the girl asked)

The mum smiled back and explained that her daughter had been feeling sick during the morning….

The girl looked at the mum – thought a bit and said – “Perhaps you should have thought about that before you brought her to school today”.

It was said in a flash of brilliance – but with such innocence….. I almost choked.

Kids.

Another scary photo

It’s only a couple of days since I posted a scary picture. Here’s another chiller. If you haven’t seen the last then this is worse, so much worse. You’ll never visit Grandma’s house again.

You’ve been warned.

Look at the picture. Just keep looking closely and then you’ll see something you weren’t counting on.

Not one for the kids. That’s unless you never want them to sleep again.

Did you just look over your shoulder?

Here’s the other one – just in case you’re hardcore and love being scared.

Warning: This is the most disgusting book. Ever.

Stunned. Shocked. Speechless – well almost speechless.

Who’s coming over for dinner then? I’m cooking!

This book is real. If you don’t believe me – Google it. Cooking with natural ingredients is one thing – but this is one step too far.

A cookbook to remember

The summary reads:

Americans and Europeans consume vast amounts of milk and other dairy products that consist of mammary excretions from cows. Compared to semen, milk might seem positively disgusting.

Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic… Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants…

Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen.

The recipe titles are no better (then again how could they be).

  1. Tuna Sashimi with Homemade Dipping Sauce
  2. Man Made Oysters
  3. Creamy Cum Cakes
  4. Almost White Russian
  5. Spunky Candied Pecans

But the creepy winner just because it sounds so innocent until you know the secret ingredient? Chocolate Truffles with White Centre.

If you’re still reading this post then you must have a cast-iron stomach. I apologise if you were eating.

The book reviews are hilarious. Here are some of my favourites from various sites featuring the book:

  • “I guarantee this will get men to cook and have fun doing it!!” (Karen)
  • “Wow, this is my new absolute most favorite horrifying book”. (Oriana)
  • “We’re having a pot-luck”. (Will)
  • “Dinnertime! Cum and get it!” (AJD)

Thinking of buying yourself a copy?

So, go ahead. Share this delightful post with your friends. Just click on share below and let everyone know what they’re missing out on. Jamie Oliver you haven’t got a patch on this book! Delia Smith, stick to what you know.

The day I used the unconventional trap…

 

I was just reading one of my friend’s status updates on Facebook when a memory shot into my mind. Isn’t it funny when you have one of those moments and you end up laughing to yourself? I was on the bus checking out Facebook when this happened and although amusing, laughing to yourself isn’t a good idea when on a packed bus.

Anyway, the status update I read reminded me of the day I discovered I had mice living in my house…

Years ago, when I lived in Milton Keynes in England, my mum came to stay with me. Say what you will about Milton Keynes: Yes it has more roundabouts than a fun fair, more concrete cows than you’d ever wish to see and it’s fair share of H and V roads…. ‘H and V?’ you ask. I’ll explain some other time. It was great having my mum staying as we packed so much into our days. Long walks, visits to the local lake, shopping outings and lots of meals out! Yum!!

I had two lodgers in my house at the time and so my ‘spare room option’ for guests was the lounge and my mum stayed in there. Don’t judge me! The sofa was VERY comfortable and she chose to sleep there, so I don’t feel bad about it. After a couple of nights sleep my mum told me over breakfast that she feared there was another little guest sleeping in the house: A mouse… I couldn’t believe it.

As much as I love the little creatures I was not too keen on having them live in the house. I was even less pleased when we discovered that the mouse was living in the sofa. Yes, the mouse had been sleeping inside the same sofa that my mum was sleeping on. Being the caring animal lover that I am, I went out in search of humane traps. They weren’t cheap!! The humane mouse trap is quite an invention… (I’ve added a picture to make it clearer).

Back at home with two traps, just in case, I put the bait at the far end of the tunnels, tipped the traps and set the little doorways open. I placed Trap number one behind the sofa and Trap number two under the kitchen units. That night I went to bed wondering what would happen and by morning I had indeed caught Mr Mouse. He was whisked away in a box to a farmer’s field, well away from my house. I have been told that they come with quite an adept tracking system for retracing their steps. I wasn’t taking any chances.

Mouse gone! Story over?………… Not a chance!!

A few months later I was relaxing on my sofa watching TV. Out the corner of my eye I saw something move. Perhaps I’d imagined it? I looked again and saw a mouse scurrying along by the wall in my lounge! In broad daylight! It ran right around the room and then underneath the sofa….where I was sitting. I leapt from the sofa and turned it upside down. It was time for revenge! The humane trap was good, but clearly not going to scare them off enough. It was time for more drastic measures. Inside my cupboard lived my vacuum cleaner. You can see where this story is going now…

Sucking a mouse up a vacuum cleaner is a very strange experience and not one that I want to have again. Of course, not wanting to be too close to the mouse in case it lunged at me (I have a vivid imagination), I kept the long extension attached and turned it on…FULL BLAST! I tore a small hole in the base lining of the sofa and stuck the long nozzle in. I didn’t have to wait long before I heard the most revolting suction nose. I can only describe it like the sound when you suck a sock up the vacuum, or catch the edge of a rug. Anyway, job done: Hurray, the mouse was gone…or should I say…the mouse was now trapped, dead or alive, inside the vacuum bag. At least I wasn’t using a Dyson. How odd it would have been to see it whizzing around the clear container? The bag was removed and taken far, far away.

I never had mice again.