The 10 Driving Commandments!

Other drivers never cease to amaze me. How did half the drivers on the road ever pass their test?

I passed my driving test at 17 years of age. I was given driving lessons as a present. “Wonderful, a passage to adulthood and freedom”. 14 years on, I think I’m a pretty decent driver. I’ve had a couple of accidents bumps…. Not all my own fault (but everybody probably says that).

In a recent poll online a massive 90% of drivers said that they were ‘good/very good’ drivers. Astounding – they can’t all be so good. I’ve been out on the roads around Europe and I beg to differ.

So, I’ve decided to compile the 10 Commandments of Driving.

I. Thou shalt use those things known as indicators.

Why do people think that the drivers around them have psychic abilities enabling them to predict the manoeuvres of the driver in front. Use those indicators guys….. Oh, and when I say use them, I mean use them before you start turning. It’s a bit late to flick the lights on when you’re halfway around the corner.

II. Thou shalt not sit in the middle lane.

Why, oh why? This is the most annoying habit. The United Kingdom is the place to visit if you want to see the commandment being broken. British drivers are awful when it comes to motorway driving. It’s not uncommon to see the inside and outside lanes empty as drivers queue behind each other in the middle. Why?

III. Thou shalt not use the mobile while driving.

Texting and phoning whilst driving really gets to me. How many times do we have to sit and wait at traffic lights for the driver in front who is so self-absorbed in what they’re doing with the mobile rather than driving. Ban them! Ban them!

IV. Thou shalt not pick one’s nose whilst driving.

Please see previous post about this subject.

V. Thou shalt not take 2 hours to get in and out of a parking space wide enough for a bus to fit in.

Some people think that their car is clearly a lot bigger than it actually is.

VI. Thou shalt not worship chav* idols.

Fluffy dice are out! Dangly bunnies, kittens and dream catchers were never in. Nodding dogs on the back shelf – say no more……. (* chav = see full description here).

VII. Thou shalt not perform ‘acts’ whilst driving.

By this I think I have re-captured your attention. Let’s just say, you should not be doing anything you wouldn’t want your mother to know about whilst the vehicle is in motion.

VIII. Thou shalt not weave in and out of other cars.

Driving is not a skill connected with tapestry work, but some drivers think that by zooming across all lanes, in and out and side to side that they are saving time. It rarely works.

IX. Thou shalt not display signs with absolutely no purpose.

These signs (and they’re everywhere) don’t make logical  or meaningful sense to me. What are the possible reasons? To make drivers drive better around you? Shouldn’t we all be doing that anyway? Then there is the argument that when they are in a crash the first on the scene can attend to the baby. This idea is flawed considering half the cars I see don’t have a child or baby in them. So instead of only using the sign when they need too, they leave it up constantly to cause un-due concern in cases of an emergency.

X. Thou shalt not drive as though our cars are connected. Keep your distance!

This happens all the time in The Netherlands. I cannot bear it. Some drivers stop their car so close that I’m convinced that they’re trying to read something on the back of my car. Keep back!

Feel free to pass this on to any drivers that you can think of that could do with a little reminder.

Happy driving people!

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24 thoughts on “The 10 Driving Commandments!

  1. love the 10 commandments and im in the process of writing one similar for my own blog…
    But you know whats worse? is people who stop to use their mobile phones. Because its not been banned to use it whilst driving they think its ok to just stop anywhere and start chatting on the phone. The block lanes and are just a hazard to anyone driving along especially at bends. uffff!!!!

  2. I think I’m an average driver, you’ll be pleased to hear that I indicate even when I’m the only car on the road (ingrained habit from the New Zealand AA who taught me), got my license first time at 15 in NZ , I don’t own a mobile phone, agree with you totally on the nodding dogs (brings out the worst in anyone with car sickness), you should only weave if you are a professional weaver (it’s the only possible excuse) *and* I can parallel park too 🙂

    I’ll add a few more too if I may:
    Number 11 Parents, please buckle your kids in, they shouldn’t be standing on the back seat waving at me whilst I drive, and I shudder to think of what state your toddler will be in after going through the windscreen if you hit something. I know CPR but I fear it would be past needing.

    Number 12: if you are so short that you can’t see over the steering wheel or the dashboard for heavens sake go buy yourself a booster seat or a large pillow… It’s already clear from your driving that you can’t see anything.

    Number 13: if you are the driver who rolls down your window and tips the contents of your ashtray onto the road at the lights, please know that you ARE a lazy dirty moron.

    Number 14: if like someone we know, you took 16 goes to pass your driving test, please take it as a sign from God that maybe you were never meant to be in charge of a motor vehicle and please don’t take offense when people decline to be your passengers. We are not suicidal and truth is, even after *finally* passing your test, you drive like you are.

    • Kids standing up on the back seat??? No way! I’ve never seen that. What a shocker.
      I love the idea of booster seats for shorties.
      Number 13 is gross – just gross.
      I passed my test first time. People are always saying that “The best drivers pass 2nd time….” I can’t see how. In a difficult situation you have ONE chance to sort it, not two. Best drivers pass FIRST time.

      Thanks for the comments. I love em!

  3. I love the 10 commandments according to Jamie. I too am
    English but have lived in other parts of the world for the past 40 years – so how old does that make me? I agree with your comments on British drivers but NZ drivers are without a doubt the worst offenders. They weave in and out of the traffic only to be waiting at the next set of traffic lights when I arrive; they hog the middle lane when there is nobody in either of the other lanes; they are impatient; not respectful of others. And now you ask, why does she live there and drive there.

    • Judith,
      I’ll agree that the Kiwi’s are especially bad on the open road, I’ve devised that there is simply too much road per capita … so they tend to think they own the road.
      That said… Kiwi’s are waaay better than the Dutch when it comes to city driving though, someone *will* let you in.
      If you want top of the list for bad drivers though I think that honour goes to the Portuguese.
      They raise speeding, tailgating and overtaking on blind corners to a whole new level, and on our many travels there we have come across many horrific accidents of such a magnitude that several times we were actually scared of carrying on our intended journey.

  4. The texting and driving really makes me mad! In California we have a hands-free law. You can’t have your phone to your head and I TOTALLT agree with it. It never fails- you pass a slow/bad driver and they are on their cell phone. I have been to Europe- you guys are crazy drivers anyway! Last thing you need is a cell phone! 🙂

    Good list!

    • We have hands-free laws in the UK and The Netherlands (and probably most European countries) but people just don’t care. They risk the accidents and getting caught by police for their precious text or call. Madness. Haha – I’ve been to the states too. The cars are HUGE, the roads seem crazy!

  5. Ive visited a few countries and lived in a few too… the most disciplined drivers ive seen are germany and holland. (sorry im in the middle of writing my own blog ive no time to correct spelling or put in capitals, next time i will. 😛 )

    And the worst is pakistan. my god… their only high way code is getting as many in the car as you can and just peep the horn to get your way on the road.

    I guiltily tell you there have been times we proudly got 10 in the car at once, untill we seen another car with 11 ( yeah they got 3 on the front seat 😦 )

    They have no respect for red lights and no respect for each other. There you don’t just worry about hitting someone else but also how to stop yourself from getting hit.

    Sadly rules and laws are there for a reason. When accidents happen they are fatal. sometimes wiping out entire families.

    so if you are a driver dont think you are the only one on the road, show some respect and care for safety of others aswell as yourself..

  6. It was….. we had four in the back with four in our laps… two in passenger seat in front… and then the driver… we were mighty proud that day that we all managed to get out the house and go to this park..
    In pakistan road safety is not an issue or priority. oh but in all the taxis the driver will have his own seat belt and the one behind him cut out. he doesnt anyone wrapping it round his neck and robbing him…. need i say more…

  7. Here’s one from me:
    Thou shalt not “Cut me Off”. Vegas drivers are famous for this, and it really gets on my nerves.

    LoVE your list! My fave? The one about picking the nose. FUNNY

  8. Great list.

    I hate speeders too. I don’t mean the person who occasionally goes a little over the limit, but those arrogant idiots who risk their lives and those of other people zooming by at double the limit.

    Kids without seatbelts – neglect.
    Masses of mobile phone users here in Southern Germany too, although it’s against the law.

  9. Keep your distance is right! I often find myself shouting at other drivers: “Don’t you understand the laws of physics? No two objects can occupy the same space at the same time!”

    (Yes, I’m a geek.)

    My mother has an equally long ‘outburst:’ “That’s all right, Buddy. Don’t bother with the directional. I’m a mind reader!”

    (Now I think this is too geeky to post.)

    But if you can imagine us yelling these things at the top of our lungs, hand plastered on the car horn and face turning red, it does get funny.

    • Oh, I wish I was there to experience the looks on your faces. Classics I am sure.

      I don’t drive a lot nowadays. I drove everyday in England, but then again I had to. England is not an easy place to live without a car. The Netherlands is a different ball-game. You can take the tram, train or cycle….. I have had a few fits of bike-rage though. 😉

  10. Pingback: Get Out of the Way – You’re Holding Yourself Back! | NLP THIRTEEN

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