The day I used the unconventional trap…


I was just reading one of my friend’s status updates on Facebook when a memory shot into my mind. Isn’t it funny when you have one of those moments and you end up laughing to yourself? I was on the bus checking out Facebook when this happened and although amusing, laughing to yourself isn’t a good idea when on a packed bus.

Anyway, the status update I read reminded me of the day I discovered I had mice living in my house…

Years ago, when I lived in Milton Keynes in England, my mum came to stay with me. Say what you will about Milton Keynes: Yes it has more roundabouts than a fun fair, more concrete cows than you’d ever wish to see and it’s fair share of H and V roads…. ‘H and V?’ you ask. I’ll explain some other time. It was great having my mum staying as we packed so much into our days. Long walks, visits to the local lake, shopping outings and lots of meals out! Yum!!

I had two lodgers in my house at the time and so my ‘spare room option’ for guests was the lounge and my mum stayed in there. Don’t judge me! The sofa was VERY comfortable and she chose to sleep there, so I don’t feel bad about it. After a couple of nights sleep my mum told me over breakfast that she feared there was another little guest sleeping in the house: A mouse… I couldn’t believe it.

As much as I love the little creatures I was not too keen on having them live in the house. I was even less pleased when we discovered that the mouse was living in the sofa. Yes, the mouse had been sleeping inside the same sofa that my mum was sleeping on. Being the caring animal lover that I am, I went out in search of humane traps. They weren’t cheap!! The humane mouse trap is quite an invention… (I’ve added a picture to make it clearer).

Back at home with two traps, just in case, I put the bait at the far end of the tunnels, tipped the traps and set the little doorways open. I placed Trap number one behind the sofa and Trap number two under the kitchen units. That night I went to bed wondering what would happen and by morning I had indeed caught Mr Mouse. He was whisked away in a box to a farmer’s field, well away from my house. I have been told that they come with quite an adept tracking system for retracing their steps. I wasn’t taking any chances.

Mouse gone! Story over?………… Not a chance!!

A few months later I was relaxing on my sofa watching TV. Out the corner of my eye I saw something move. Perhaps I’d imagined it? I looked again and saw a mouse scurrying along by the wall in my lounge! In broad daylight! It ran right around the room and then underneath the sofa….where I was sitting. I leapt from the sofa and turned it upside down. It was time for revenge! The humane trap was good, but clearly not going to scare them off enough. It was time for more drastic measures. Inside my cupboard lived my vacuum cleaner. You can see where this story is going now…

Sucking a mouse up a vacuum cleaner is a very strange experience and not one that I want to have again. Of course, not wanting to be too close to the mouse in case it lunged at me (I have a vivid imagination), I kept the long extension attached and turned it on…FULL BLAST! I tore a small hole in the base lining of the sofa and stuck the long nozzle in. I didn’t have to wait long before I heard the most revolting suction nose. I can only describe it like the sound when you suck a sock up the vacuum, or catch the edge of a rug. Anyway, job done: Hurray, the mouse was gone…or should I say…the mouse was now trapped, dead or alive, inside the vacuum bag. At least I wasn’t using a Dyson. How odd it would have been to see it whizzing around the clear container? The bag was removed and taken far, far away.

I never had mice again.

7 thoughts on “The day I used the unconventional trap…

  1. Love this story Jamie… and can you believe we still haven’t caught ours yet? If my Dyson hadn’t given up the ghost today I would certainly try your tactics!

  2. Hmmmm, Mom sleeping on the sofa (not judging….nope, not me……have 2 grown sons and they’d better not try that when I visit or I’ll go psycho-bitch-Mommy on them……….but not judging at all) and mouse under said sofa. Those little rascals know how to hide, don’t they? Hate ’em………and wouldn’t care one bit about chopping one into little pieces (now it’s your turn Not to judge please). I jest………not about hating the mouse………and not about the possibility of turning psycho-bitch…….so never mind on the jesting.

    Excellent, witty post. I’m going to enjoy reading you!


  3. I wouldn’t have minded your little mouse story, and how you murdered him. if you hadn’t added a visual aid.

    That little mouse is just too cute. He could have been a pet!
    I mean, unless he was in MY house…. in that case, yeah, vacuum, no problem with it!

  4. Pingback: 100 hits…. Well, perhaps it is a popular blog post then « One Life

  5. I have a phobia of mice, your pic of the dam thing stopped my heart beating for a few seconds and my legs are still shaking. Yes! that’s how bad my phobia is. I’ve got a few stories of my own regarding the little $%&*”$%. But i can’t bear to share without getting hysterically tearfull. 😦
    Your story was hilariously written and that hover thing is a great tip that im gonna keep in mind in future.

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